HUMOUR (politico-finanziario)

"Error is the rule; truth is an accident," as Clemenceau put it. Greenspan has only been right twice in the last 16 years...and both times, perhaps by accident. He noticed that stock buyers were "irrationally exuberant" in 1986. Then, in 2002, he remarked that "infectious greed" could be a problem. Apart from that, he had been wrong about everything.

Perchè denunciare il reddito dopo tutto il bene che vi ha fatto ? Quando prendete il viagra buttatelo giù in fretta. C'è il rischio che il collo vi si indurisca Clinton per difendersi ha detto che il sesso orale non è sesso. Se fosse vero c'è una nigeriana che mi deve ridare un sacco di soldi. E' impossibile ottenere una condanna per sodomia da una giuria inglese perchè metà di essa non crede che sia fisicamente possibile e l'altra metà la pratica abitualmente (Winston Churchill) Vi sono degli stati sociali in cui governano i più intelligenti, è il caso dei babbuini (Konrad Lorenz) Penso che il sesso sia la cosa più bella, naturale e pura che si possa comprare

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A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back, and one by one, began to tell their stories. Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup, and when we hit a bump in the road, all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess." "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher. Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched, we only got ten live chicks." "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched." "That's a fine story, Sarah." "Michael, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Barbara. Aunt Barbara was a flight engineer in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. "She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke, and then she killed the last ten with her bare hands." "Good heavens." Said the horrified teacher "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?" "Stay the hell away from Aunt Barbara when she's been drinking!"

dilbert

A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try." At that point the parrot yanked away the towel and said, "Zoo or no zoo. This, I gotta see !!!"

dilbert

dilbert!!

dilbert!

dilbert

La popolarità di Bush è calata un poco nei sondaggi. In genere la maggioranza lo approva nella guerra al terrorismo. Ma sul business e l'economia il giudizio è che sia così così. Tutto sommato la cosa migliore per Bush sarebbe ora di bombardare Enron Un uomo a New York sta facendo una causa da milioni di dollari ai maggiori fast food, Burger King, McDonald, e Kentucky Fried Chicken per essere diventato obeso. Vinta questa passerà a fare causa a Playboy e Victoria Secret's per averlo reso semicieco a causa dell'eccesso di autostimolazione Modificato da - gz on 8/1/2002 20:18:29

Great Business Lessons from Everyday Life A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up hers when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. Confused, but delighted about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob, our next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Signor direttore - Dalle agenzie di ieri: "Nano nominato primo ministro in Albania". Si è preso un altro interim?

A millionaire was asked how he became an economic success. He told a story about visiting his bank manager. In the manager's office high up in the bank building, they both looked out over the city landscape towards the horizon. The manager said: "Do you see all that out there, we OWN all of it, all the businesses out there. You borrowers run these businesses for us."

Chi è contento del buon lavoro fatto dagli analisti (anal-isti, da me ribattezzati)? Quelli che erano stufi di bisturi e cremette lenitive, i sofferenti di emorroidi. Hanno risolto radicalmente i loro problemi: gli hanno portato via anche quelle!!!